If Only ...

Bush Vows to Fight Tyranny, Punches Self In Face Repeatedly

I have made the world a dangerous place! My country has lots of nuclear weapons! I start wars that have wiped out hundreds of thousands of civilians! My policies are designed to enrich my friends and large political donors, at the expense of the common good! I hold political prisoners indefinitely without charging them of any crime or allowing them access to counsel. I advocate the use of torture and would like to dismantle the UN!"

"SOMEBODY STOP ME BEFORE I STRIKE AGAIN!"