Grab And Run?

People, we have a lot of work to do. As I write this, I am watching a program on Sex Slavery on The Big Idea with Danny Deutsch. It's a sick and vile business that displays a total lack of value for women as human beings and treats them as nothing more than disposable pieces of trash. Meanwhile, in Kyrgystan, men and their families are kidnapping women they wish to become their brides. Forced marriage is a different kind of slavery.

Meerim was a 21-year-old university student in the Kyrgyz capital, Bishkek, when her admirer, an old classmate from the central province of Naryn, abducted her for marriage.

'My schoolmates suggested having a reunion and we met in a cafe in Bishkek. We were having a small party with drinks and snacks. Then Nurlan [her then classmate and now her husband] offered to continue the celebrations at his home with kebabs and music,' Meerim said in Bishkek, recalling the experience.

'I agreed, but when we entered his home, his relatives were there. His mother said that I would become her son's spouse. I was shocked and did not expect such an outcome. I cried, disagreed, tried to escape, but all in vain. All night long his sisters and female relatives tried to convince me. My female schoolmates were on their side too,' she added.

But despite having a boyfriend and future career plans, Meerim surrendered to an age old Kyrgyz tradition.

'I wanted to call my boyfriend to take me away but didn't know what to tell him. I knew he couldn't help. He was far away. I called my parents, but they did not want to get me out of the situation. My grandmother insisted that I should stay with a husband-to-be as otherwise our family would be shamed. I eventually gave in,' Meerim said, adding that following the wedding, she had to leave her education and mainly engage in domestic chores as expected in this traditional society.

Such abductions are not unusual in the former Soviet republic, particularly in rural areas, where the majority of Kyrgyzstan's some 5 million inhabitants live.

According to some estimates, upwards of 30 percent of the country's married women have been snatched from the street by their husbands in a custom known as "ala kachuu," which translates roughly as "grab and run." In its most benign form, it is a kind of elopement, in which a man whisks away a willing girlfriend. But often it is something more violent.

That women actually are complicit in this bride snatching is even more disturbing. I guess they think you ought to be grateful that you were chosen by their brothers.