Speaking Of Pedophiles ...
Okay! I know I am wrong for this even though it creeps me totally out to no end. I have a co-worker who is probably (I am assuming he is over 40 but I think I am still older than him) middle-aged. I consider him to be a typical, nerd-like, reject (as in had a hard time getting/keeping women) white dude. He's not very attractive and seems to have an anal retentive/control freak personality to boot.
Well, when he first started working here and I saw his wedding ring, my radar went off and I immediately assumed that he had an Asian wife (of one nationality or another). Sure enough, I was right. BUT, this chick is really tiny (as in has a childlike body), talks in a baby voice and, apparently doesn't have much to do with herself at any given time during the week because she drops him off in the morning, picks him up after work and is often found in our cold kitchen area in the afternoons, presumably, waiting for him to get off of work - which often means hours.
Being only one of two females left on my team and, in general, surviving this industry for so many years being the only black, only woman or both, I have heightened sensitivity to sexism/racism in the workplace. Working around a bunch of chauvinistic pigs isn't always an easy task and when I see the kind of women these guys have at home, I realize why I get into conflict with some of them sometimes. I am probably their worst nightmare: independent, making as much money as them, speak with knowledge and authority in my voice and look at them like they are pedophiles when they bring women, who look and act like children, to work with them. It's NASTY!
Anyhow, it is this guy's birthday today so, of course, he gets flowers/balloons. Now I hear her over the cubes, talking in that baby voice and it is grating my nerves. It just grosses me out a) because he is so creepy b) because he obviously had to go trolling the Philippines for a bride.
I don't begrudge anyone the right to be happy but there is some stuff that just gets under my skin. How do you buy a woman in modern society? My manager too, it seems, is in the market for a mail-order. He just returned from the Philippines a few weeks ago and is always having these whisper conversations with the other co-worker in question (I guess his trips to Russia didn't pay off). He's an obnoxious prick too and I'm not sure he's taller than me (I'm 5 ft). Oh well, as long as it is legal I don't suppose there is anything wrong with it. But, like I said, it just skeeves me out! It's hard for me to take these guys seriously in a professional environment.
my state @ 2:16 PM :: Permalink
5 Comments
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5 Comments:
I don't get why you are dwelling on something that is a strictly personal matter, and, frankly, none of your business.
This is exactly the sort of middle-school-level prurience that is responsible for most homophobia. People of a certain conventional sexual mindset just cannot stop themselves from obsessing ad nauseum about what those perverts DO TO EACH OTHER.
How exactly does your self-righteous attitude toward your fellow workers ("speaking with knowledge and authority in my voice and looking at them like they are pedophiles") differ from that of the Bible-toting Christian Right?
You seem to be so smugly assured of your own moral superiority to these fellow human beings -- whom, quite likely, you don't even know very well -- that you feel qualified to pass judgment upon the most private aspects of their emotional and sexual lives ... and then to POST ABOUT IT ON THE INTERNET. You even presume to take offense that this poor guy invites his spouse to the workplace. I can see why you might be "their worst nightmare." I just don't get why you're proud of it.
t is exactly none of my business but this is my blog and my opinion. I think old men who like women who look and act like little girls are pedophiles and, often times, abusers. They gross me out! The fact that they are willing to troll the third world specifically to BUY a concubine is indicative of something I feel is sinister. To me they are no different than the men, during slavery, who would have been back in the slave quarters on a nightly basis raping slave women.
That's my opinon and I'm sticking to it!
Hey I hear you.
Can I be amused at someone who has nothing better to do at 5AM but be on YOUR blog telling YOU that you need to mind your own business?
I have had this opinion of "dirty old men" for the longest time, but "liking 'em young" is so accepted, even when it toes the line (and crosses it, in my opinion.) Last week, a friend of mine was approached by a man who was obviously old enough to be her father's older brother... he asked her how old she was, she said 22... he said, "oh, I thought you were 16 or something. Can I have your number anyway?" Madness!
As a white guy who lived in Thailand for almost 10 years, married to a Thai woman with a couple kids, I can say that what qusan describes - the trolling for concubines - really does happen, really is gross, and very rarely works out as a relationship of any dynamism or healthiness.
That said, as the guy who is everything mentioned in the preceding paragraph - I can also say that this is not always the case in these relationships. I met my wife when I was 26 and she was 19 (we're 35 and 28 now), so our age difference isn't really tremendous though it is there, we're in all kinds of love and we are equally devoted to our kids. Sure, there have been rough patches, but it's a pretty good partnership as far as I'm concerned.
When we moved back to the US a couple years ago, she was pretty dependent on me. We were waiting for her work permit to go through and the kids were still pre-school age. She's not the type of person who would ever have waited around for me in a friggin' office breakroom (and her voice is low and sultry, not squeaky), but it was a tough transition for her, no bones about it.
Now she's kicking ass at work, just got made a manager and has this country's ins and outs down pat. Probably more than I do.
The point being, while qusan is probably right about this guy at her work, I surely hope that people aren't jumping to the same conclusion about every quasi-similar relationship/marriage they see out there in the wide world!
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