You know how they say that if you put something out into the universe, it will happen? Well, while I have no proof that I can literally call this guy a pedophile
, my suspicion that he is a possible abuser became much more real this week.
I am in a technical position and report to the same manager as this guy. He is a team lead for his team and my team has been working with his on getting ready for an enhancement release of our software. My personal opinion (and that of several co-workers) is that he is BS'ing as far as what he knows. He has managed to con himself into a job where he does no technical work but merely doles out work to everyone else and "plays with" spreadsheets all day making it seem as though he is some king of test metrics. Anyhow, I disagreed with him on an issue and took the side of another co-worker who was in the middle of a conflict with him over a task he was trying to complete. All I said was that I understood where the other guy was coming from and that it seemed that the scope of the original task was creeping into something beyond what we'd originally planned at a time when we needed to stay on schedule.
Well, you would have thought I pulled his dick off. I wasn't even talking directly to the guy. I was chiming in through my cubicle. The guy took offense, got defensive and tried to make an argument of it. I stated that I was just expressing my opinion (this is still America, right?). He then informs me that he had an errand to run and he would take care of this issue when he got back! He said it in a tone like he was my daddy and would be back to punish me. But, I laughed, muttered something to the effect that he was a moron, and blew it off.
Sure enough, a couple hours later, while I am at my desk lunching on a nice, hot bowl of my homemade chili, he stomps his way over to my cube to tell me he wants to talk about my issue with his plans. When I looked up, saw his chest all puffed out and that red Uncle Fester looking face and bulging eyes, I knew it was not the right time for either of us to have a discussion. So, I told him that it wasn't a good time for me. Did this fool stand there and tell me that it WAS a good time and that we WERE going to talk about it? Did he refuse to leave my work area? Did he stand there talking while I turned the other way, continued to type or take a bite of food? Did he tell me that he was going to keep talking even though I was ignoring him (who the fuck does this motherfucker think he is)? Did I feel trapped an unsure what he would do if I tried to leave my cube? Did I tell him he was a micro-manager and that he irritated me? Did I tell him that I didn't think he knew what he was doing? Did it ultimately escalate, because he wouldn't leave, into me chanting "control freak/wife beater?" (Did you note that I can be an unabashed ABB
in situations like this)?
Since he was lording over me as I remained in my chair(and because I'd gotten my digs in), I found it best to tell him that I was long over the need to be right in any given situation. The difference of opinion was hardly worth all of his rage so I told him that whatever he said was gospel because he knew everything there was to know about everything. I told him that whatever he wanted the team to do was fine with me and I would do whatever he said was the right thing to do . He finally left but I'd seen all I needed to see. This man aggressively invaded my space over a small difference of opinion. It wasn't critical. I'm not the team lead. He is. I'm just a satellite helper so God knows it wasn't worth all of that.
As far as I am concerned, if he would flip out on me like that over something so small, I don't want to imagine how he behaves at home with his
wife. My original abuse suspicions were raised because I heard him snap at her (in front of several of us ... in the kitchen) over something that he thought
he heard her say. My eyebrow has been raised ever since.
Meanwhile, said wife was sitting in the kitchen the whole time (this was just after lunch). She had a laptop but was she hooked up to the office WiFi? No! On the few trips I made to the break room that afternoon, I noticed her either staring at her screensaver or playing solitaire. It was after 6pm when I went to wash my coffee cup and leave for the day. I still want to know what grown assed woman (and I cannot verify that she is or that he didn't adopt her instead of marrying her) has nothing better to do than sit in the cold kitchen of her husband's job for hours on end ... doing NOTHING? She started bringing the computer, it seems, after I offered her some magazines - which she declined. She also declined my offer to find her a desk (we have several empty cubicles). I do think she is dominated and abused and now the "pedophile" knows I know. Men just don't talk to women the way he talked to me unless they have the delusional view that they have the right to and are used to doing it.
After thinking about it overnight, and not knowing how crazy this guy is, I documented my recollection of the incident (giving myself full credit for my ability to stand up to him and not be bullied) for my manager. We discussed it with a third party and I made it an official complaint. Of course, like a classic wife beater, he was totally nice the next day and agreeable with everything I said. But that horse is out of the barn. I cannot confirm that I'll be seeing him on any Dateline stings
, but I can confirm that he has a temper that flares up over minor issues and that he felt he had power enough to talk to me like I was his property (didn't say slave but he was
acting like Mr. Tom, the plantation overseer, who was going to teach this gal a lesson ... I think he learned the lesson and got snapped out of his time warp too).
I have no plans on interacting with him anymore than I absolutely have to. I just hope he didn't beat his wife when they got home that night.