While avoiding blogging for a while, I escaped reality by getting hooked on yet another "reality" show. I tend to go for the straight foolishness that is aired on MTV and VH1 because they are too stupid for words and so beyond the pale of anything real that they've become my adult cartoons.
Then "The Mole" (an old favorite) reemerged on ABC along with The Bachelor and The Bachelorette in recent months. The Bachelor is pretty predictable. They are 0-12 as far as marriages or even relationships that last a few weeks beyond the requisite press tour after the finale. If a series has had 12 seasons and not a one has resulted in a fairy tale ending/wedding, why bother? Does ABC think that 13 will be the magic number? The last installment was so obviously going no where that I stopped half-watching half way through and, as par for the course, that "relationship" officially tanked this week. (How the heck did he pick the 22 year old actress daughter of Lorenzo Lamas and think that mess was going to work)?
That brings me to The Bachelorette.
In the beginning, I kept forgetting that it was on for 2 hours each week so missed parts of the first couple of episodes. But then it actually drew me in. The first Bachelorette (as has been the case with all of them) was a discard from a previous "The Bachelor" run. With only 4 seasons, the first resulted in a marriage and now a child. It's been 5 years and they seem pretty solid. The next two fizzled but a pattern with the women is that at least they tend follow their hearts and not the path of least resistance. I think the second Bachelorette even picked a guy who was jobless.
So that is why I am rather stunned by the visceral reactions by an inordinate amount of viewers (including some of my friends) when Bachelorette number 4 followed her heart and picked the one guy I tagged pretty early on as the one who'd get the final rose. DeAnna was an intense and emotional young woman and seemed to draw a fair chunk of the guys into her whirlwind. I'm not sure I've ever seen so many tears coming from men's eyes on one series. I think her approach (as someone who was rejected on The Bachelor 11) weeded out the right guys (from her view point) quite well. Once it got to the final 4, naturally, things got much more complicated.
The 3rd runner-up was "hot" and, apparently, the type she always went for. But, as Dr. Phil always asked "How's that working for you?" Graham irritated the heck out of me and I think she wasted precious time on him. He got the first "one-on-one" date and the first kiss. She had obvious concerns about him right off the bat because, at 29, he'd never really had a serious relationship or one that lasted beyond a few short months. That may not have bothered me as much as his apparent jealousy. That bugged me! The premise of the show is "25 guys, one Bachelorette." Yet, he instigates a fight with her when she asked him (and if you have to ask ...) to kiss her by telling her that he didn't want to be "one of a bunch." Hello! Repita por favor! "25 guys, one Bachelorette." I hate that kind of "slowness." Why did he go on the show? He should have been
(ooops! that's from The Mole) eliminated on the spot after that. But she kept him around and it took both Ellen DeGeneres (who pushed for her to get her own season after being dumped by the bachelor) and his own mother to make her realize that there is no way there would ever be anything to that relationship beyond him being "smoking hot."
Besides, I think he was toasted through most of the show. He always had a drink in his hand and he always looked high as he glared from a distance anytime she was with another guy. I stood up and clapped when she angrily and tearfully sent him packing. Watch that door knob baby!
The 2nd runner-up was a fan favorite but I had issues with him too. According to her "list," he was a solid match. But he was another weird one to me. I had to go back to watch the very beginning of the first episode (thanks You Tube) with the pre-show interviews to see that he'd done his research on her and seemed a little obsessed from the beginning. He described her as his "unicorn" and I could have told him then that he, too, was on the wrong dang show. Right away the other guys (mainly led by that creepy Ron who should have been let go the first night) saw him as a serious threat. There is a "Jeremy" on every show like this who makes it clear that they are only there for the girl (or guy or money) and not to make friends. I never have a problem with those folks because the way they throw the others off of their game or screws with their minds is actually pretty funny (sick sense of humor, I know) to watch. Robert let Jeremy's gag at the out house BBQ cause him to self-destruct and get sent home. The other guys were "straight hatin'. " Ron probably needs to get a mail order bride. I cannot imagine someone who knows and understands English listening to him rattle off cliches like some sort of savant all day long. But, I was entertained because some of those guys were worse than a pack of catty women.
Jeremy got the first, first impression rose on the first night and an individual rose on the first group date. That gave him the privilege of being one of three men to live in the mansion with her for two straight weeks. I'm not saying he wasn't a sweet enough guy but he wasted the first week with her by not really allowing her to learn much about him. He later told her that both of his parents were dead so he was pretty closed off. Since she'd lost her mom as a young girl, she instantly bonded with him over that and he looked more like an obvious choice. He was definitely totally focused on her which is what she wanted as that is how she approached her limited times with each guy. But something was still a little off to me. Even though he wasted no time getting physical with her, the interaction always seemed forced, stiff and contrived. I wasn't feeling them.
While I did not have a problem with him making sure his sole focus was on her and I did not care that he didn't want to have a "frat house" relationship with the other guys, I think he was wholly and completely blind-sided when he was eliminated because he'd failed to pay attention enough to realize that the 1st runner-up was an equally good catch and that she had a very obvious (at least to me) connection to the guy who ultimately won her heart. He was so shocked, in fact, that he somehow convinced the producers to allow him to talk to her again after he'd been cut. I've never seen that happen before and I actually think it might be a good idea because as fast paced and surreal as these shows are in a short amount of time, getting eliminated and whisked off without being sure why or how, is a Jenny Jones Show tragedy
waiting to happen. I still don't think he's quite figured out what happened.
He's taking the "she led me on" route in some interviews and even implying that she's not all that bright (yeah dude, but you did a whole lot of crying and "please baby, baby please"
action over her so please ...). In the end, with him, the "Picture Mommy Dead"
bond didn't translate into a love match for her. Jeremy needs grief counseling to help get over his parents' deaths not a woman who looks eerily like his mother. In my eyes, he went on the show with a hole in his heart and a pre-conceived fantasy of his life with her. That wasn't fair to her and, in the end, wouldn't have worked out.
1st runner-up Jason was another popular guy for viewers and there is no doubt that he was one of the sweetest guys (and I mean that in more ways than one). He absolutely was a good enough guy. But, I had some issues with him too (can you tell I escaped into the show waaay too deeply?). He was another one with wounds. He was divorced by a wife who apparently left when she was pregnant with his now three year old son. I didn't have an issue with the son and I don't think that DeAnna did either. But, just using pure common sense, six weeks is not really enough time to decide if you want to take on an instant family (didn't he say he lived with his younger brother too?) as well as whatever baggage there is with an ex-wife who would leave a man for someone else to go in a "different direction" while with child (okay, Jason seemed to be implying that he was left for woman - that or for someone in the circus or, God forbid, a brother). I'm not sure I'd touch that with a 10 foot pole until I fully investigated things and took it really slow. Nothing is as simple as "she left" and the "divorce wasn't my choice." Besides, he seemed to travel a lot for business and on the hometown date, I found it odd that his mom would specifically ask DeAnna if she liked sports almost as if that was an issue in his marriage (because he did seem to be totally into golf and baseball).
He was another one who'd read up on her, had notions about her prior to meeting her and, came to the show with a heart that was in recovery. Again, I did not think it was fair to come there with the expectation that she, or anyone else, would somehow heal him. He, too, was totally shocked when he was eliminated as if the other guy couldn't have possibly been in the running. Like I said, he was a nice guy (a little too "soft" for my tastes) but I was a little surprised by the arrogance that led him to believe he was a shoe in. The guy I knew in my heart would win was scared to death because he's sized up the competition very well.
Also, Jason seemed to think that he could provide the safety and security DeAnna wanted but, sorry, I think he was looking for the same sense of adventure and fun in DeAnna that she found in his final rival. He was married/in a relationship through most of his twenties and I think may have missed out on some things he needs to explore before getting re-attached again. He needs to be a "Jesse" for a while and then think about settling down again. Otherwise, he'll be in his 40s or 50s and acting out with someone who trusted him to be safe. He made a pretty gracious exit, though. He was kinda rambling, however, and I wasn't sure if he was going on and on about DeAnna or his ex-wife. Ultimately, he realized that she made the right choice for herself and was able to see what I saw between she and Jesse.
So I now come to Jesse ... the snowboarder. One of his cousins applied for him to be on the show without him knowing. For some reason, he assumed that a woman like DeAnna wouldn't give him the time of day (and in the real world outside of the show, given her usual "type" she probably wouldn't have). He wasn't tall. He wasn't dark and well ... handsome is in the eye of the beholder. I didn't think he was hard on the eyes or anything. He wasn't all suited up and, in fact, came in with jeans, loud sneakers and an even louder jacket
. He totally expected to be sent home the first night. Well, we should have all known that once he wasn't eliminated in the first rose ceremony (or even the second), that he probably was going to be around a while. Something had to have been going on.
I saw what I thought was the real deal when they had their first one-on-one date
where he could have potentially been sent home. It was probably one of the more romantic dates of the season and there was something I saw when they danced together to Natasha Bedingfield's "Soulmate" That was quite a coincidence with the song and quite a coincidence that Jesse won the date because he got down on one knee, held her hand and sang his song to her. It was something about the way he held her hand when they danced and looking back at earlier episodes before I watched the finale, it was there all along. She was just simply more comfortable with him than anyone else in the house - including Graham. The body language between them was brazenly indicative of something symbiotic.
Like Jeremy, he always found a way to be on either side of her. The difference was that Jeremy sat there like a guard dog but she always seemed to be engaged with Jesse, leaning his way or laughing with him. A clip during the finale showed them on a group date at the Dodgers game watching fireworks. She had given Jeremy the rose of the day yet, sitting between them, she was seated much closer to Jesse and looked like she was there with him
. I cannot fathom how all those men let him have a prime spot next to her so much of the time. How did they let Jesse happen without any kind of resistance? Was it because they knew he hadn't kissed her yet? I hope some men out there took notes.
Sadly, many viewers have totally judged this guy based on his profession and his appearance (and sorry, being a pro-snowboarder with sponsors is a far cry from being a washed up, non-NBA basketball player like Graham). Her own father told him he had to cut his hair if he was going to marry his daughter. I live in Northern California and his hair was no where close to being Santa Cruz or Berkeley "long." It was just a little messy. People seemed to think that she was choosing this reckless and wild guy over the supposed "stability" that the other two guys offered (Jeremy had to quit his job to go on the show) when he seemed to be more stable than most of the guys in the house. Stable and adventurous are not mutually exclusive. He's got his hands in a lot of things that I don't think he needed to discuss on camera in order to convince other folks. I doubt they'll ever be living on the streets. He didn't go into the show as an adult orphan or a rejected husband. He had a whole heart to offer instead of a bruised one. People seem to feel that she owed Jeremy and Jason some sort of pity pick and that's just wrong.
Jesse also used the strategy of not getting too physical with her until very late in the game (part strategy and, I think, part fear of getting too attached) until he took her home to meet his parents (so that they could pinch he to let him know he wasn't dreaming). He had a nice stable family that he was close to. Jeremy had two fat, ugly brothers who were all but threatening DeAnna not to hurt Jeremy. Who'd want to be in that family? Then, I read some place that Jason's parents were divorced and don't live in the same state. Family values were a key issue and I think Jesse aced the other guys out on that as well.
Jesse definitely underestimated himself and pre-judged DeAnna by assuming that she wouldn't want anything to do with him so I think important lessons were learned by both of them. (Heck, if Travis Barker
can have the likes of Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and his psycho, former Miss USA/Baywatch ex-wife getting into public fights over him, Jesse could've certainly gotten a "hot chick" too if he'd tried earlier - and he better not get big headed before the wedding either).
There are campaigns to have Jason and Jeremy as one of the next Bachelors. I think Jason needs to take his time and make the effort to find someone in Seattle. I think Jeremy is too stoic to carry his own show. I would watch Twilley - who somehow made it to the top six but never got a solo date and I doubt more than a peck on the cheek. I'm sure he is a really nice guy and is a total hoot. He might actually find someone nice (I'm not sure I could watch him kiss anyone without laughing though).
I found this season even more enjoyable than Ryan's and Trista's. It was funny, very emotional and filled with drama ... just what I need when I am avoiding blogging about McCain, Obama and the state of the world. If DeAnna and Jesse go through with their planned nuptials, The Bachelorette, with 2-4, will have a 50% success rate which is far better than the 0-12/0% rate of The Bachelor. Why can't ABC get a clue?
Labels: Bachelorette, DeAnna, Jason, Jeremy, Jesse